Birthing Ayurveda: Week 27—Ah…The Baby-Moon!!!
Welcome to Birthing Ayurveda, where we follow one woman's pregnancy experience week by week—from a positive home pregnancy test all the way to delivery.
I used to feel that the idea of a baby-moon (think honeymoon before the baby is born) was a little silly…that was until I became the parent. Then I started to think of all the changes in my life and my relationship with my husband that might happen, and my husband and I quickly became keen on the idea.
Yes, it certainly started out as an intention to escape and have fun with my husband, and with the feeling that we needed to savor our last days while it was just the two of us. And I’d say that our trip certainly did fulfill that desire as well. But it wasn’t just for that reason that I found it to be incredibly beneficial and why I am a big advocate for a baby-moon, in whatever form is available to you.
It can be a grand trip that you have been waiting for, going to a place within driving distance where you can seclude yourselves, or simply being at home with no work or social responsibilities and obligations.
What transpired for us was a week where my husband and I really became in sync. We have always been on the same page for the most part… luckily. And I would say that for the most part, we are on the same page in spirit and ideology. But while hiking, going for a walk on the beach, or lying in bed, topics like what is our parenting style, how do we want to go about the details of the postpartum period (which mother comes to visit first?), how do we want to mentally prepare for the seven month ceremony (a ceremony traditionally done in the Indian culture for the mother and the baby) and for parenthood, what spiritual practices are we doing or should we be doing, what fears are still lingering, all came to life. As we had time and space to talk about it (after long weeks at work and a busy month ahead), finally we felt like we were one unit in this.
I was also surprised by how much fear and thoughts of scarcity came out on the trip. I saw this trip as our last chance to just be together and I was incredibly surprised by how much I regressed in maturity when it came to the surface. As I was about to enter the third trimester, the realities of having a little one became so much clearer. With that I saw a lack of time and lack of energy from the both of us for our relationship.
Having space to work through it together left me so much stronger in the end by seeing parenthood as an opportunity instead of an obligation. My husband really was fantastic at showing me this truth with compassion and patience and helped me see that we still have all the opportunities to keep our relationship strong and full of vibrancy.
For those who are considering a baby-moon, I recommend a few things:
- No technology. Put away the computers and the phone. Be unreachable and stay focused on yourself, your partner, and the little one to come.
- Make sure there is space. Enjoy your excursions and activities, but do not jam-pack your trip with these. The point is to create space and see what comes up.
- Have a routine that facilitates an open mind and heart. I meditated and did yoga on the beach. Consider self-massage with oil. We always had time every day to just go for a walk.
- Do not create an agenda. See what comes about spontaneously. Like I said, the things that come up can be quite surprising.
- Bring books that make you think a little differently. I was given a book on the spiritual child, and though the book was not the most revealing, earth-shattering book I have ever read, it was enough to get me to start thinking and asking questions that I hadn’t before.